Hate Mail

Dear 'Noth, you?',

Screw you. You dumb jerks.

There is this movie called 'Deep Blue Sea'. It ain't too bad. Exciting, but highly implausible at times. For instance, one of the surviving characters juked out a shark. That scene really flippin' threw me over the edge; almost to the point of simultaneous vomiting and diarrhea. I hate that scene and I think it stinks, which made me think of your blog because I think it is stupid and it stinks. I'm glad you went on hiatus. Like that actor can't dodge a shark attack, you can't be funny. So quit for real.

What are you even trying to do here? These jokes stink. Oh, wow, you guys know about The Onion. Nice model to follow, especially since The Onion isn't even that funny anymore. Mocking the news went out of style when it became the cool thing to do.

Hey, El Benda, you're not even Spanish! You're Mexican! Don't you know anything?

Yo, 6012, enough with the mysterious superhero jibber jabber. Is your superhero cape made out of poop? I bet it is, judging by the crap you write. I can smell it too.

Good, you can go fall off of a camel for all I care. Ohh, you're so neat and funny. Yeah, sure, you're just about as funny as Home Alone 3 during an opiate withdrawal.

Pish, I don't have time for this baloney. I have to go smoke a butt, dude.

- B.H. Obama

P.S. Do zombies like tennis?