Learn to say #4

Learn to say nonsense words to decrease awkwardness in tedious conversations.

I believe there should be a new part of speech added to our language. Among the nouns, verbs, adjectives, etc., there should be fillers.

Fillers are words that sound great, but don't mean anything. Their purpose is to help us acknowledge that someone is speaking when it is hard to do so otherwise.

Example:

Mr. Bad Conversationalist: My friends and I went to the mall, and we had to stop by the Apple Store because my friend needed a new charger for his iStone.

(Note: Most people would just use silence to dismiss what was said, or direct the conversation to a different topic. Rather than humiliate Mr. Bad Conversationalist, a FILLER could be used to acknowledge the information he shared so that we all can comfortably move on with life.)


Good: (Using filler) Cone. Jones.


Don't be a jerk by ignoring some dumb talker. Also, don't be a phony and say something even stupider, such as asking a lame question to keep the bad conversationalist engaged, but also continuing the bad conversation.

FILLERS!!

Here's a list of suggested fillers: jones, shown, cone, jayowns, flayowns, boolay, bools, phone, tone, blayowns, O7, Kapus, O-C Kapus Cone, Shay-o-nase, flonase...see if you can think of your own!

I love you!

Learn to say #3

Learn to say, "I'm so sorry that I'm late," a different way.

First, it is important to make a noticeable entrance.

I suggest stepping into the room via sideways lunge as shown below.



As you're stepping, wave your hand along the plane that's perpendicular to the floor and exclaim, "JONES".

The way you say it, and the length of your stride will make all of the difference.

The lunge should be slow and over extended. The "Jones" should be slow, over extended, and full of bass.

Say it like you mean it. Say it like you're sorry to be late.

The goal is to get them laughing so hard that they totally forget that you're late.



Myyyyy employees say JOOOONNNESS when they're late!

Learn to Say #2

Learn to say shown.

Shown is a definitive statement. It is also an adequate response to any type of question.

It has a rare use as a closer for any type of insult.

Example 1:

6012 asked, "Hey, Good, did you buy tickets to the El Benda vocal performance at Madison Square Garden?"

Good answered, "Shown!"

Example 2:

Good insulted 6012 by accusing him of something.

Good alleged, "You're David isn't even the Gnome. . .SHOWN!"

(Note that the shown reinforces the slam that the insult means to present)



*Shown can also be used as a replacement for any obsenity.

**My favorite use of shown is to scream it out of my car window in lieu of yelling, "F--- you, person innocently walking on the sidewalk!"

Learn to say #1

Learn to say OK in many different ways.

The trick in this lesson is to substitute the K with something that sounds great.

Example 1:                                

7 = K                    

O7. (Oh Seven)           

Example 2:

Stone = K

OStone. (Oh Stone)

Example 3:

Jones = K

OJones.   (Oh Jones)

*Sometimes it is O7 to substitute something for the O rather than the K. 

Example: Stone = O, StoneK.   (Stone Kay)