FOUND YOU!

(Good and 6012, without any makeup)

A-HA!!!
Good and 6012 caught buying monogrammed his/hers hand towels at the local super store. You guys can't stay incognito for too long! Silly guys!

Special thanks to our reader, Jimmy Floyd De la Croix for the fantastic photo find. Great work Jimmy! You win a blank cassette tape from 1992 and a hearty handshake from all three bloggers. (Handshake to be granted when we feel like it, void where prohibitted.)

Keep your photos coming!

Mullet Justification

I regret nothing. I just merely wanted to state why I looked so badass in that picture.

1. I'm too busy being awesome to worry about hair.

2. My hair matches my life philosophy. Business in the front (when I'm on the job, its nothing but hard work for me). And Party in the back ( as soon as quitin' time comes round, its nothing but good times on the reg, sex on the reg, yachts on the reg. Basically, all the finer things in life. Thank you, Mr. Powers for that Philosophy.

3. My answering machine is busted. My dad called me and told me to, "Wear your sunday best to this photo shoot. We need a great xmas card!" I heard, "Hi son. be cool. grow a mullet." I knew that message was too good to be true.

4. The main reason, is that I have been working as a touring roadie for .38 Special. I have a small cameo in this AMAZING video, see if you can find me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXQDWuitMZc

(Couldn't embed. bastards!)

This is probably the greatest and most dated music video ever. I love southern rock, damnit. And let me tell you, life on the road is no joke. Yeah, there are groupies, which is awful swell and all. but periodically you are sober and actually need to work. Sheesh.

(side note. I'm not joking when I say i REALLY like this song. As much of a non-southerner I am, damnit I love this song. Pure southern rock.)

El Benda Shunned By Family

Award-winning blogger upsets family by showing up with a mullet to the annual family photograph.

Local: Community Concerned About Bathroom Shortage

News: Inner City Children Visit Earth During Tuesday's Field Trip

**New!!! Noth, you? Character Study **New!!!

The Noth, you? team has initiated phase one of what we'd like to call: "Character Study".

It has come to our attention that many people can be categorized into basic archetypes. You may meet a jackass in Massachusetts, then drive to Montana to find a very similar jackass.

Today's Character Study: The 'say the same thing to you every time I see you guy'.

This guy could be one or all of three things: forgetful, one who thinks all are forgetful, or just that unoriginal.

The simplest example of this type of jackass is a guy/girl who will tell you the same story, or same set of instructions, more than twice.

This next example will overlap with another type of character, which will be mentioned in the next post. This example includes Comment Guy. This guy just has to say something to you no matter what. Comment guy becomes "say the same thing every time I see you guy" when he runs out of annoying comments to make.
Now the example: I arrive to work. Larry sarcastically asks, "you still work here?" Needless to say, he will say this again next time. Then he will say it again. And again.

If you, or someone you know, is a "comment guy" or a "say the same thing every time I see you guy", please try to remember that you being stupid does not mean that everyone else is stupid. Trust the brains of the others around you. They'll remember what you said. Especially if you say it every day.

Sponsorship!

Yes, the crafty capitalist that is El Benda has made yet ANOTHER stunning victory. First it was opening up a successful America-themed restaurant. Now, its securing our first sponsor for Noth, You?

DRINK JONES SODA~
(un)official Drink of Noth,you!

Basically, all this means is that I, El Benda, will receive $ 15.45 per laugh. Good and 6012 will also get $14.88 per laugh. (I got the increase because I'm dating/fornicatin' with Mr. Jones Cola's lovely daughter, Telly -WHOOPs, now the secret is out of the bag). Anyway....

SHAMEMLESS PLUG TIME
Jones Sodas!
They taste almost like real soda!

Fabulous Flavors include:
-Sea Salt and Mayonaise Soda
-Sweet Meat BBQ Beet Soda
-Turpentine Cream Soda
- Gefilte Fish Soda (The Chosen Soda of yours jewry)
- Dirty Water Hot Dog Soda
- Red Bean Soda
- Jade Curry Soda

Jones Soda uses only the finest High Fructose Corn Syrups and processed sugars.
Artificial Flavors? You betcha!

Try all seven flavors! At the same time!
JONES SODA: If you don't drink them, you're a KAPUS!


(THE FINE PRINT: Jones Cola is not our real Sponsor. But if you're reading this, Mr. Jones, shoot me a line. Lets talk business. I think it could be highly profitable for me, and marginally significant for you. Like being your future son in law? Wink Wink. Secret shake, you get the deal.)

6012 Scores In Hollywood

click image to see GOOD

More Shoney's

Two of our loyal readers recently visited a Shoney's location.




Dear Noth,you?,

Thanks, guys!!! You never fail to totally amaze us. We're so tired of the same ol' same ol', and Shoney's has SHOWN us that we can get a new taste of the same ol' same ol' bring it on back James Brown!

Your only readers,
Bill and Ted

Jonesbook Announces Successful Debut

"Our most recent update lists 1,567,999.3 subscribers. Jonesbook makes social networking easy and fun."

-Mark Jonserberg

News: Professor Dodges Laser Attack

Tattooed student not as fortunate.

Tay-alk!

We want to know noth from you! Write us your noth!





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6012 Adopts a Child!

What a cute kid. 6012 gave him his old shirt, too.

Learn to say #4

Learn to say nonsense words to decrease awkwardness in tedious conversations.

I believe there should be a new part of speech added to our language. Among the nouns, verbs, adjectives, etc., there should be fillers.

Fillers are words that sound great, but don't mean anything. Their purpose is to help us acknowledge that someone is speaking when it is hard to do so otherwise.

Example:

Mr. Bad Conversationalist: My friends and I went to the mall, and we had to stop by the Apple Store because my friend needed a new charger for his iStone.

(Note: Most people would just use silence to dismiss what was said, or direct the conversation to a different topic. Rather than humiliate Mr. Bad Conversationalist, a FILLER could be used to acknowledge the information he shared so that we all can comfortably move on with life.)


Good: (Using filler) Cone. Jones.


Don't be a jerk by ignoring some dumb talker. Also, don't be a phony and say something even stupider, such as asking a lame question to keep the bad conversationalist engaged, but also continuing the bad conversation.

FILLERS!!

Here's a list of suggested fillers: jones, shown, cone, jayowns, flayowns, boolay, bools, phone, tone, blayowns, O7, Kapus, O-C Kapus Cone, Shay-o-nase, flonase...see if you can think of your own!

I love you!