Meet My Granny

I need you to meet someone who is near and dear to me. My dear old Granny.

Her name is Joan Jones. She makes the best Cabbage Soup and Peach Cobbler this side of Columbus, GA. She's got more stories about the Great War effort than your grandpappy. She winks at you when you take her (sugarfree) hard candy. She still has a crush on the Smothers Brothers. She might have been against the civil rights movement, but never will admit to it. She's had two short stories accepted to Ladies Old Journal in the 1940s. She plays a mean slide guitar.

All in all, one hell of a granny!

One more time... Mrs. Joan Jones!

More Facts!
-Mother of 12 (her vagina was quite a factory!)
-Had a dog named Biscuits throughout the entire Eisenhower Administration.
-Smells like old lady farts.