Folgers has recently announced its latest inexpensive hunk of trash to land on supermarket shelves: Not-Quite-Decent-But-Quasi-Adequate Instant Coffee. The company has abbreviated the title to appeal to a younger, hipper, acronym-loving crowd by calling the new product: NQDBQA-IC (pronounced niquid bickwa ick).
I'm like most people; if it's being advertised on the television, then I know it has to be great. There's no way I could be misled! Why would they lie to every single one of us? When I go to the store I think to myself, "Hmmmmmmmmmm, should I buy a Luxor television or a Zenith?" The answer is obviously Zenith because the commercials told me about it, so it has to be better than the product that I don't know anything about." Huh? What's research? Am I even pronouncing it correctly?
I'll probably choose Folgers for my weak, milky, coffee needs. It doesn't really matter where you get your stale, brown, water, as long as it is caffeinated and seen on tv. Soon enough, America will run on Folgers.
If it's cheap, disgusting, and can be loaded with sugar...WE'LL TAKE IT!
Folgers: Mmm Mmm Better.
Monday, August 17, 2009
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