Advisory

Jones!

We're On Twitter Now!

Need your random fill of nonsense in another digital site? Procrastinators Rejoice!
The Noth, You? Team has joined the vast internet hell hole timesuck that is Twitter.

http://twitter.com/nothyousamgoody

Why follow us on Twitter, you might ask?

-Marvel at our ability to make you laugh, cry or fart in less than 140 characters!

-Allow us to waste more of your time when you think you are, "working." (its okay, we won't tell your boss)

-We rarely use internet shorthand when we tweet. No, rly. 4 serio. ROTFL

-Seriously, if you are following people like Shaq, Soulja Boi, or some other dude who may have been on the television, WHY NOT follow us?

(MOREOVER, If anything, EL BENDA is a television celebrity. He's been on tv multiple times albeit in side, bump, and non-essential shots.. If anything, that should give you more impetus to follow us. Society loves marginal, trivial, borderline useless celebrties, and his total 10 seconds of on-air face time qualifies. Or at least until he puts out a sexy-time video.)

-We have very fragile egos, and need you to follow us so we don't turn all mental.

So in other words, FOLLOW US, YOU NUMBSKULLS!

Theme Song?

Testimonial:
Some call me El Benda
I'm a living STONE.

(Crazy radical Christian children's television is the best, isnt it?).

Advisory

Scoop: Pelosi's Stunning Confession

"I listen to my iPod when I go to use the toilet."

This is the reason i want to grow a Neard

I made a discovery tonight. Neards, though socially awkward and often just plain terrible, do possess use. If grown correctly, it enables the person to yodel in a most excellent manner. We're talking about in a way that might blind young children and make old men deaf.

Exhibit A:

Local: Area Man anxiously awaits 8 bladed razor

"This beard isn't cutting itself. We live in a very modern society. We've built atomic weapons, landed a man on the moon, and even learned to breed pandas in captivity. IS IT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR A RAZOR THAT HAS 8 BLADES! I got optimistic when they released three, four, even 6 bladed razor. But it seems like the technology has stopped. This has done nothing but irritate me. I thought our American flag stood for freedom. Well, I want to live in a country where a man is free to purchase a razor with 8 blades, damnit!

Razor makers, I frown upon you! Leaving us extreme bearded folk out in the dust. How am I going to rock a sweet chinstrap for my son's graduation now!"

-Davis McDavis, Local Man/ Beard enthusiast.

Update: Jordan vs Bird Among Games To Be Played At Sleepover

I asked my mom if I could have the hockey team stay at the house after our game tomorrow night. After some huffing and puffing she finally agreed to pick up five boxes of Ellios pizza to prepare for the fun.

Right now I'm playing a lot of Zelda. I try to play when I know I'll have four or five hours alone because it takes about an hour to get the game started. I've learned that blowing into the cartridge AND the console cuts a significant amount of time from my pre-Zelda blowing rituals.

OK, enough about me. Zack is going to bring Jordan vs Bird!!!

I'm so freakin' excited for this. Larry Bird is like the best ever. In my opinion, he never should have shaven off his porn-star mustache. Then there's Jordan. My lord, can that guy jump!



I really like this game and I hope that I have a fun time with my friends.

Anagram-a-mania

I just found a site that automaticall makes anagrams of an entered name. Basically, this site does all the creative and hard work for you, and we get to reap all the benefits.

Here are our names, anagramed

El Benda - Nice Beard

6012 - I am a Strongish, As

Good- Got By Warmly

Clearly, I win the battle of having the coolest website generated anagram. Suckers!

My Response to: This is How they found me"

Thoughts from the Double Dees

FULL DISCLOSURE: I write this I'm at a local donut-slinging establishment, as I drink coffee to fervently fight off my sleep deprivation.

You might know where I am.

If you don't, I'll be a nice person and tell you. The name of the place is Dunkin' Donuts, which, thanks to the interweb, I've learned is named after wealthy Pastry Inventor and birdwatching enthusiast Duncan Bertrand Doeghnut IV. Yes, this is a man who made his billions creating these things we today call 'Donuts'.

D.B Doeghnuts IV, or D'Nuttz as he was called by his homeboyz, built this massive pastry empire during the Great Depression. In a classic case of taking a simple concept and making it better, Doeghnuts took the traditional southern sweet cake pastry and put a hole in the middle.

This was effective for two reasons.
1) It was the depression, so hole in the middle was a great way to save money and not make a whole cake.
2) People love stuff with holes in it. Donuts, Swiss Cheese, 50 Cent, Ears, Women (if your a dude), Grey's Anatomy (so many of the plot variety), Black Holes. Whole Milk. Saying 'Holy Moly!' All loved by everyone. Win-Win.

So from there,
Pros of Donuts: Taste good, inexpensive, give you a nice sugar rush, circular in shape, have holes (see above),

Cons: Eat too many and you get a medical condition. Doctors call it Buttfaticus, or "Fat-ass." You also might lose self-esteem, but that's only because you're a worthless fatty and you finally realize it.

ANYWAY,
Here's the problem (and the point of this rant). I swear to god there is an item on this menu called a 'Chicken Parmesan flatbread. I'm pretty sure you can also get it in some other incantation (on a bagel, croissant, muffin.) Think about that for a second. Other than promoting obesity, WHY THE POOPCRAP IS A DUNKIN DONUTS SELLING ANYTHING WITH THE WORDS CHICKEN and PARMESAN' Together.

You dont see Old Navy selling 8 piece suits. This is probably because they don't exist, but if they did, Old Navy wouldn't sell them. They would sell the same sweat-shop made performance fleece and jeans Americans have come to love and wear. Moreover, they abbreviate it to where it reads, "Chicken Parm". THIS IS A PLACE THAT SELLS DONUTS AND COFFEE AND BREAKFAST FOOD. Last I checked, even the most hardcore Italian folks don't eat Chicken Parmigiana for breakfast.

When I first read it on the menu, I thought it was just a side affect of me not sleeping. But i was proven wrong when the dude right after me ordered a Chicken Parmesan Flatbread and a coffee. At 9am. in the morning There should be rules against this kind of behavior, both for the vendor and for the idiots who actually order chicken parm flatbreads at dunkin donuts. For the sake of all that is holy (HAH) and good in society, this needs to end. I know that many argue that free-markets are good, but this is an example of when periodic involvement from a higher power needs to be done!

More Stray Observations
- A wee lad (i bet he was maybe three) just asked repeatedly asked me what my name was. Of course I responded, "El Benda". But alas readers, you better believe I entertained the idea of saying JONES! I almost did too. But then I saw the innocence in his eyes and came to the conclusion that exposing a three year old to such a powerful word might retard him for life. I think I did the right thing.

- I saw a dude wearing man capri pants. Unless he's going fishing in low tides today, he should be sought for criminal punishment. THE FASHION POLICE

Hah!...

Ha..

anybody?
(okay, that joke was there to help broaden our audience. O7?)

--I just realized I'm that douchebag who brings their laptop to the dunkin donuts. Curse my psudo-pretentious ways! Acting like I'm writing something important, like a book about dragons, when in reality all that I'm writing is just a series of drawn out musings with about as much depth as farts.

On that note, I'm getting out of this (donut) hole.

-el benda

Bored At Work?

Send poop pics!

Send pictures of yourself to friends while you're pooping!





"The community can best survive if it loves to laugh about poop."
-Good (1996)

How We Met El Benda

One day, 6012 asked me (Good) to help him move all of his office items into the bathtub. I gladly obliged as I saw this as an excellent opportunity to kill 6012.

As 6012 placed the last brown rectangular thing into the bathub, I stabbed him in the arm with my car key. He quickly spun around and whipped me with his cape. The whip made the cape feel like a truckload of concrete colliding with my cheekbone. I fell to the floor screaming, "SHOWWWWWNNNNNNNN."

"That's right," 6012 commented as he wiped blood off of his arm with a tissue. After dropping the tissue into the toilet, he kicked me in the face, laughed, and walked back toward the office. Realizing that I had just run out of luck, I decided to throw my lucky rabbit's foot into the toilet.

This event was followed by some major bowel irritation, so I decided to relieve myself while I was alone. Suddenly, I heard 6012 walking toward the bathroom. I was sure he was coming back for revenge.

"Hey, man, I'm not mad about earlier. We're cool. Oh, I forgot to mention that the toilet doesn't flush," 6012 told me through the door.

What happened next completely changed my perspective of the physical world.


Apparently, all it takes to make an El Benda is some DNA, a little bit of luck, and some poop!

Entertainment: Singer Announces Who Did It In Front Of Live Audience

HEEEEEEEE DID IT!!!!

Developing Story: Not Enough Chairs For All

Trends: Incredibly Unoriginal Girls Pose As Charlie's Angels

Done to impress friends, boys, Dad.






UHHHH, this one is awk.







Researchers conclude number of pictures taken using Charlie's Angels pose is directly proportional to social aptitude, inversely proportional to practical intelligence.

Local: Man Finds Old Star In Attic

"The light from this star could be one million years old!" claimed local hairstylist Gus Jonesbert.

Leak: Dick Cheney Preps for Billy Idol Tribute Band

Ex V.P Cheney, seen practicing his Idol pout in the mirror.

A.B.: The former Vice President is currently prepping for a Billy Idol tribute band, 'White Weddings. Band expected to play at Bushopalooza bash in Crawford, TX.

Noth, you?

Leak: Clinton Admits She Farted in White House Three Times

Experts suspect the actual figure could be 3-5 times greater.

Trends: Cool People Tilt Head In Pictures

News: Young Girl Not Impressed By Joke

Learn to say #3

Learn to say, "I'm so sorry that I'm late," a different way.

First, it is important to make a noticeable entrance.

I suggest stepping into the room via sideways lunge as shown below.



As you're stepping, wave your hand along the plane that's perpendicular to the floor and exclaim, "JONES".

The way you say it, and the length of your stride will make all of the difference.

The lunge should be slow and over extended. The "Jones" should be slow, over extended, and full of bass.

Say it like you mean it. Say it like you're sorry to be late.

The goal is to get them laughing so hard that they totally forget that you're late.



Myyyyy employees say JOOOONNNESS when they're late!

News: Serial Killer Doll To Be Taken Off Store Shelves By Next Week

Addendum, re: R.v.Winklin'

Sorry, being that I spent today Rip Van Winklin', I forgot to post this song at the end of the previous post.

This, dearest friends, was the theme song to the movie, 'Gone Rip Van Winklin' '.



(ween rules, side note)

Rip Van Winklin'

I know that Good is usually keen to drop new vocab. But I would just like to take a minute to introduce some slang into the modern English lexicon.

Rip Van Winkle - verb, to be used when you sleep for more than 8.5 hours in one session. Especially appropriate if you feel groggy or tired after you wake up, even though you've gotten more than the 'necessary' amount of sleep.

This term of course comes from the folk tale of Rip Van Winkle, the friendly tale of a miser who went to the woods to nap (who does that?). He wakes up many years later and returns to his village to find, as Notorious BIG put it, "the game done changed."

"Only the softest rocks for my bed, yessir!"

Acceptable Uses;
Rip Van Winkled, Van Winkled, Rip Van Winklin', Van Winklin', RvWinked, R Van w-ed,
Ripped van winkled, rVANwin'

Oh man, I Rip van Winkled and forgot to pay my child support!

Example:

6012: Hey man, what's happening?
El Benda: Not much man. It was my day off today, and I spent part of the day Rip van Winkling. Then I got up and did my taxes and pre-ordered some DVDs.

El Benda; You don't have to post before 9am on 'Noth You"
Good: O7, then I'm off to go Van Winklin'. In dreamland, nothing can harm you!

------
Usages in Popular Culture:
This term was first used in the hilarious farce, "Gone Rip van Winklin'."

Staring a Wet Bandit and the manager from Angels in the Outfield, these two men middle aged scientists, RANDY and ALBERT who, when not doing research, pine for the days where they can go deep sea fishing. But since the MAN took their cars ("What the heck is 'Collateral, anyway!?!), AND they live in the mountains, they have no means to get to the ocean. Accordingly, they must spend their days doing research, wearing silly hats and smoking cigars. Randy also swears a lot. He might have torrettes?

However, one day, these scientists discover the truth. Global warming is happening at a much more advanced rate than expected. We're talking 10,000x faster (yeah, looking at you LIBERAL MEDIA AND AL GORE. YOU DROPPED THE BALL ON THIS ONE!). So, like all good science movies, the two subject themselves to their own research. They chemically induce a 14 hour sleep session by eating a lot of greasy, fried food. After putting a sign on their lab, "Gone Rip van Winklin'", the two get in their cots fall asleep.

When they wake up half-a-day later, the world has flooded. The icecaps have melted and everyone in low lying areas are dead. Here is the actual script from the final scene in the movie:
-------

INT. LABORATORY. DAY.
An alarm rings. Randy reaches over and hits the snooze button.

(Fade out)

INT. LABORATORY. DAY. 7 MINUTES LATER
The alarm clock beeps again. Randy and Albert wake up. They each lean up and move to sit at the ends of their respective cots.

A pause.

The two men look at each other. Randy gets up and walks towards the window.

Randy
Man, I'm tired.

Randy begins to aggressively swear under his breath.

Albert
(yawns)
Yeah. Been Rip van Winklin'.

CUE LAUGH TRACK

Randy arrives over to the window. He yawns, and rubs his eyes, then stares out the window in awe. The entire countryside is covered in water. Randy begins to excessively swear again.

Albert gets up and walks over to the window, and his jaw drops when he sees the formerly mountainous landscape covered in water.

Albert
Everyone's dead!

Cue "OOOOOH" laugh track (ex; saved by the bell make-out audience track)

Awkward pause.

The two men turn around and run to the door and grab their fishing poles. They each put on silly hats and fire up two fine Cuban cigars.

Randy / Albert:
"IT'S TIME TO DO SOME FISHING!!"

In a joint action, the men tear off the "Gone Van Winklin' sign together. They turn and give a 'thumbs up' to the screen.

The image freezes, and a sweet Duran Duran track begins to play. Roll Credits.
---

Man, I loved that movie....

Dear Receptionist at my Landlord's office

Just a couple of points for you:

1. Sure, tattoos are cool. I know I will eventually get one. I think its cool to have something personal and artistic on you. But don't overdo it. A cool flower is one thing. Maybe one on each arm. Or have matching birds on each wrist. But its your skin, not a canvas. Your epidermis isn't Baltic Ave, where you are the landlord and need to fill it with real estate and tennents so you can afford payments on your 3 boats . Sometimes, one well placed tattoo is a lot more effective than 27. I don't care how much you liked that poem by Keats. Laminate a copy and place it on your desk, don't put the entire thing all over your arm. Subtlety can be a wonderful thing.

2 Consistency is a good thing. You had a lot of tattoos, but they were all different sorts of items. Flowers, poetic lyrics, other designs. I'm sorry, I don't have time to look at all of your tatoos. Odds are that unless you are with your close friends or a significant other, most people will not be able to look at your tatoos you have. I know that hypothetically people get tattoos for themselves, but if thats the case get them in a place where no one can regularly see them. Like your back or something. No offense, but open-air appendages, like arms, are just as much in my space as they are yours.

So, what I'm getting at here? I'm a big fan of themes. If you are getting a lot of tatoos in a very visible public place (arm, leg, neck, head, foot), might as well make it easy for the rest of us and get tatoos all in a certain genre. For example, Right arm could be all flowers and whatnot, left arm could be Poetry and fancy script words.

Other suggestions for themes (NOTH YOU? APPROVED)
Right Leg - Star Wars themed tatoos (Chewie, Jawas, AT AT Walkers)
Left Foot - Humphry Bogart Movie titles
Neck - Vampire Bites
Left Arm - Boston Celtic Crosses

All I'm saying this way, if i am able to glance at just three of the tatoos on your arm, I can tell what you were going for. Consistency is not a terrible thing. Somtimes, it makes the world run a little smoother.

3. Moreover, you might have a lot of tattoos, but their artisic merit and significance is greatly skewed if you are fat. Now, I know what you're thinking. And no, I'm not hating on fat people (that will come in a post I surely will drunkenly write sometime in the future, entitled POR FAVOR, NO FAT CHICKS - TEASER!). But seriously, you are not exactly a skinny, or even a moderately sized person. The first thing I notice about you isnt your tattoos (its a close second though), but your fat rolls.

When I was little, I used to play with silly putty a lot. One of teh cool things about the stuff was that you could press it on newsprint and it would replicate it. This was especailyl funny with the comics. I would copy Ziggy or Marmaduke, and distort their faces and bodies. Well, frankly, the same principle applies here. Except its your skin. You might think its a flower, but it looks like a tree to me. And, your text tatoos are skewed as different LeTTeRS AppEar LarGER.

4. You are a receptionist. If you are getting paid to greet people, and when they come and you are on the phone with your friend, you aren't doing your job. Sure, everyone dicks around on their job, its human nature to lose focus at your work, especially if its slow. But if someone comes in and you actually have to do your job, you should do it. I might text someone while I'm at work, but I wait until I have a free window.

Otherwise, you seem like a generally pleasant person, sans tatts, fat, and att(itude). Have a swell afternoon and pleasant evening watching Golden Girls DVDs with your two cats.

Cheers
-El Benda

Profiling Tim and Eric's Raz

Raz

Speed - 90
Strength - 10
Agility - 6
Intelligence - 1
Other Power - 75
Weapon Ability - 50
Combat Average - 68+1

Speed - Although Raz is very slow, he rides a jetski. Therefore he is wicked fast.
Strength - Raz is a pot-smoking, island-lounging, Red Lobster-binging hippie. He lost all of his muscle mass many years ago.
Agility - None
Intelligence - See agility
Other Power - Raz is highly skilled in convincing restaurant staff to apply the manager's discount to his bill. He makes really pretty Razlets, and he's an excellent friend. He makes fun music videos too.
Weapon Ability - Although there is room for improvement, Raz is an excellent jetskier. He shows the most proficiency in abducting men from boats.
Combat Average - Raz is good in combat as he is a great leader, and has some amazing abilities to offer. The reason he wasn't rated any higher is because he is really stupid, and he is easily wounded by enemies that rip his copious piercings from his body.

News: Professional Golfer Constantly Seems on Verge of Nervous Breakdown

Dating Tips 701: Gauging her/his intellect. . .with jokes!

Do you know what iambic pentameter is? I do. I learned about it when I was in the seventh grade.

If your date didn't pay attention during middle school, chances are, he or she is a dink.

Here's how to find out if your date is worth the wait.

Step 1: Seek an opportunity to say, "I am".

Step 2: Say, "I am" (brief pause) "bic pentameter".

Step 3: Wait for either a laugh, or a dumb blank stare.

Step 4: Nod and thrust your chest in approval, or tell your date he/she has been Lemon Law'd (refer to Barney in How I Met Your Mother).


*The best way to say 'I am' is after a question. For example, your date asks, "Are you lemonade?" You aptly respond, "I am." (Don't forget to follow with "bic pentameter")

Learn to Say #2

Learn to say shown.

Shown is a definitive statement. It is also an adequate response to any type of question.

It has a rare use as a closer for any type of insult.

Example 1:

6012 asked, "Hey, Good, did you buy tickets to the El Benda vocal performance at Madison Square Garden?"

Good answered, "Shown!"

Example 2:

Good insulted 6012 by accusing him of something.

Good alleged, "You're David isn't even the Gnome. . .SHOWN!"

(Note that the shown reinforces the slam that the insult means to present)



*Shown can also be used as a replacement for any obsenity.

**My favorite use of shown is to scream it out of my car window in lieu of yelling, "F--- you, person innocently walking on the sidewalk!"

Switch to Folgers

Folgers has recently announced its latest inexpensive hunk of trash to land on supermarket shelves: Not-Quite-Decent-But-Quasi-Adequate Instant Coffee. The company has abbreviated the title to appeal to a younger, hipper, acronym-loving crowd by calling the new product: NQDBQA-IC (pronounced niquid bickwa ick).

I'm like most people; if it's being advertised on the television, then I know it has to be great. There's no way I could be misled! Why would they lie to every single one of us? When I go to the store I think to myself, "Hmmmmmmmmmm, should I buy a Luxor television or a Zenith?" The answer is obviously Zenith because the commercials told me about it, so it has to be better than the product that I don't know anything about." Huh? What's research? Am I even pronouncing it correctly?

I'll probably choose Folgers for my weak, milky, coffee needs. It doesn't really matter where you get your stale, brown, water, as long as it is caffeinated and seen on tv. Soon enough, America will run on Folgers.

If it's cheap, disgusting, and can be loaded with sugar...WE'LL TAKE IT!

Folgers: Mmm Mmm Better.

"I'm sketchy!"

I'm so sketched out right now. I'm really worried. It usually happens suddenly, without warning, and without mercy. I am afraid. I'm afraid because they might catch us. They might know what we're doing right now. They are preconditioned to know. I am hence preconditioned to be sketched.

It really helps to use a meter of some sort to quantify stuff. The quantified is "sketch". The quantifier is the Sketchometer. The basic idea is that I'm "sketched" if the meter reads a nonzero value. Once the vlaue is at zero again, the "sketch" has been terminated.

I had a feeling they were on to me. The most prominent indicator was that I was sketched. I had this vivid dream about the police hiring people to draw pictures of me. I think it was because they needed to find me.

BRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNGGGG. That was my alarm. As I sat up I screamed, "I've been SKETCHED!"

"We slept in!!!" (From the holiday smash-hit Home Alone)

Byrne it up, kid.

David Byrne (a genius) understands Noth, you?. If you ever ask him what his songs are about, he would reply, "Noth, you?".

Have you seen my career?

This post is dedicated to Ricky S.
I wish you and your family well. Also, thanks for letting me steal your joke.

Catching up with the Baby Einsteins

Also studied: Baby Da Vincis, Baby Mozarts, Baby Agassis, and Baby Mr. Belvederes.

Color Me Impressed

thanks to technology, I'm never alone. Everyone's connected and it's fantastic! For instance, I bet you didnt know that right now Good, 6012, and El Benda are having a conference call, an we're each in different counties. Yep, we're discussing the finer points of eating a club sandwich.

But I'm amazing at multitasking. Let me tell you what I'm doing RIGHT NOW during this conference call. I'm twittering this facebook blogspot youtube from my crackberry as i wait for my Chinese Fried Lice. Mmm. MMM. Good. Ask Jeeves, he knows.

When we are done discussing the sandwich, I'm going to bring up this contention: Do you get bonus life points if you are a 40-something woman (who actively seeks out younger men) AND you drive a Mercury Cougar? I say no. Frankly, I got scared half-to-death yesterday when I saw a cougar driving a cougar with a cougar in the front seat. I thank god that I survived that encounter.

I'll end this post by saying that the only good thing about it was the title. The rest is mere hogwash poopcrap.

Ice Cold Soda Here!!

Get your popcorn!! Hot dogs!

Learn to say #1

Learn to say OK in many different ways.

The trick in this lesson is to substitute the K with something that sounds great.

Example 1:                                

7 = K                    

O7. (Oh Seven)           

Example 2:

Stone = K

OStone. (Oh Stone)

Example 3:

Jones = K

OJones.   (Oh Jones)

*Sometimes it is O7 to substitute something for the O rather than the K. 

Example: Stone = O, StoneK.   (Stone Kay)

Foodies

I walked by two people talking in a driveway in some really small town in Vermont. One was a girl sitting in a car, and the other was a dude standing at the passenger's window talking to her.

Suddenly, the girl in the car threw a huge plate of food out of the window. It was nuts. All of this wonderful looking food sat in the lawn while the plate spun around in a circle and fell. Then she started to back out of the driveway really quick. As she was speeding out the driveway, the dude managed to run to open the door and hop in.

I will never know what happened between those two people.

Never Have I Ever...

There's this hot new drinking game taking place on a Friday night near you. The name of the game is "Never Have I Ever".

I know, it sounds like one of those really confusing drinking games where it takes ten rounds to learn completely (I usually pass out after three rounds of Bum Crevice, but I digress). It's easy. I promise.

Actually, I don't know how to play.

This one time, I was watching The O.C. on DVD. Every time someone said "oh, seven," I drank a little. I learned that people on the west coast of the United States don't use the same nonsensical banter that I use in every day speech.

I really hope that my Mom will bring Oreos from the grocery store.

Never have we ever...

6012: Never have I ever 6012'd a moose.

El Benda: Never have I ever cheered for the Purple Parrots.

Good: Never have I ever been Bad.

That's the fact, Jack

Greetings folks,

As I'm sure you know, the internet is FULL of facts. We're talking useful information here, people! Where else can you find the average rainfall in Ames, Iowa (40 Gallons per 3 months) OR how much sliced turkey costs in Nepal (2.34 Wepalz per LB)

So, in lieu of this blog's infancy and the immense power of the inter-web, lets spread some more ideas. This is the information superhighway, isn't it?

Three Facts about Good:
1. Invented the phrase, "An Apple a day keeps the doctor away" after he found his big league arm was great at throwing apples at the heads of overzealous surgeons.
2. Can make a mean Turduken. We're talking TASTY!
3. Was Tony Danza's hand/back stand in on the set of "Who's the Boss".


Three Fun Facts about El Benda
1. Invented suspenders during the Depression in reaction to the dramatic rise of belt costs.
2. Has spooned with many great foreign dignitaries and world leaders. (Too bad he doesn't kiss and tell.)
3. Won 154 consective games of Battleship between the years 2002-2008

Three Fun Facts about 6012
1. Defied the laws of physics when he rollerbladed UP the side of the Met-Life Building in 1999.
2. Is a 4x US Competitive Crossbow Champion.
3. Drives a LeBaron. And, coincidently, happens to be the number 1 son.

So there you go. You know the three of us that much better.

Be glad. You have now been graced with knowledge. And if G.I Joe taught us anything, its that....

Three Stones and a Blog

We are three stones, and this is our blog.

Which stone am I?